Please scroll down for descriptions of each piece.
"Forevermore Impermanent" copyright 2016
“Hold On (Forevermore Impermanent)”
January 2016
4.5” x 9”
For as long as I can remember, I have been obsessed with the passage of time. There has always been a sense of melancholy attached to it, though. I would also say that the overall theme of all of my work centers on this. What causes this sensation of sadness is the realization that everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, is temporary. This notion has rooted itself in my mind and I now see most everything this way. It’s not all bad, however, because even the negative and horrible things in life are also temporary. This mindset also helps me to appreciate things more. “Constant Change Is Here To Stay,” reads the sign in my therapist’s office.
This decomposing chimney and fireplace was found many years ago by me while hiking through Lover’s Leap State Park in New Milford, CT. It has always intrigued me, not just where it came from, but why no one ever decided to completely dismantle it. I have hiked past this countless times since I first came across it, and it still gets my attention. Not long ago, on the way to the hiking trail, the Historical Society placed signs describing what this place used to be, which explained this fireplace’s story.
In 1889, Frank Hurd, an architect, designed and built The Hurd Castle. A grand Tudor style castle nestled in the middle of the woods, overlooking the Housatonic River – a breathtaking view. (That lake was the subject of my 2013 painting, “Breathing Space.”) In 1988, a fire destroyed the castle - the fireplace and chimney are all that remain. I can safely assume that a lot of passion and energy and love went into that estate, and many good times were had there. It was probably believed by the owners that it would stand much longer than 100 years and be passed down through the generations. That was not meant to be. What’s left of it has however, transformed into something else – a symbol of the shortness of our time here.
I had been waiting for just the right time to paint this one. It had a deep meaning for me. The time came when, very tragically, my mother, Gertrude Smith, died at the very end of 2015. She had a double brain aneurism and was in a coma for a week. She never suffered and there were no signs foretelling this was going to happen, much like the surprise fire of 1988 in the Hurd Castle. After getting over the shock and going through the grieving process, it resounded in me once more how temporary everything is and how short our time on earth is. What we expect sometimes doesn’t happen. Each day can be looked at as another chance to enjoy something you love or try something new, or be miserable and angry. The present moment is all we have. I was not prepared for my mom’s dying, and the only thing that kept me sane was being present and not looking too far ahead.
This was the first painting I did in the beginning of 2016 to help me cope with this loss and to move forward. I painted the bricks floating above the fireplace as a symbol that, one day this fireplace will also be completely gone – how and where, who knows? It’s also as a symbol of the passing of my mom into the Great Beyond and the unknown. But what was left behind, which could never be temporary, are my wonderful memories and feelings of a truly loving and selfless woman, who cared so deeply for those in her life and provided warmth and comfort, much like that fireplace.
January 2016
4.5” x 9”
For as long as I can remember, I have been obsessed with the passage of time. There has always been a sense of melancholy attached to it, though. I would also say that the overall theme of all of my work centers on this. What causes this sensation of sadness is the realization that everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, is temporary. This notion has rooted itself in my mind and I now see most everything this way. It’s not all bad, however, because even the negative and horrible things in life are also temporary. This mindset also helps me to appreciate things more. “Constant Change Is Here To Stay,” reads the sign in my therapist’s office.
This decomposing chimney and fireplace was found many years ago by me while hiking through Lover’s Leap State Park in New Milford, CT. It has always intrigued me, not just where it came from, but why no one ever decided to completely dismantle it. I have hiked past this countless times since I first came across it, and it still gets my attention. Not long ago, on the way to the hiking trail, the Historical Society placed signs describing what this place used to be, which explained this fireplace’s story.
In 1889, Frank Hurd, an architect, designed and built The Hurd Castle. A grand Tudor style castle nestled in the middle of the woods, overlooking the Housatonic River – a breathtaking view. (That lake was the subject of my 2013 painting, “Breathing Space.”) In 1988, a fire destroyed the castle - the fireplace and chimney are all that remain. I can safely assume that a lot of passion and energy and love went into that estate, and many good times were had there. It was probably believed by the owners that it would stand much longer than 100 years and be passed down through the generations. That was not meant to be. What’s left of it has however, transformed into something else – a symbol of the shortness of our time here.
I had been waiting for just the right time to paint this one. It had a deep meaning for me. The time came when, very tragically, my mother, Gertrude Smith, died at the very end of 2015. She had a double brain aneurism and was in a coma for a week. She never suffered and there were no signs foretelling this was going to happen, much like the surprise fire of 1988 in the Hurd Castle. After getting over the shock and going through the grieving process, it resounded in me once more how temporary everything is and how short our time on earth is. What we expect sometimes doesn’t happen. Each day can be looked at as another chance to enjoy something you love or try something new, or be miserable and angry. The present moment is all we have. I was not prepared for my mom’s dying, and the only thing that kept me sane was being present and not looking too far ahead.
This was the first painting I did in the beginning of 2016 to help me cope with this loss and to move forward. I painted the bricks floating above the fireplace as a symbol that, one day this fireplace will also be completely gone – how and where, who knows? It’s also as a symbol of the passing of my mom into the Great Beyond and the unknown. But what was left behind, which could never be temporary, are my wonderful memories and feelings of a truly loving and selfless woman, who cared so deeply for those in her life and provided warmth and comfort, much like that fireplace.
"Let Go" C. 2016
“Let Go”
January 2016
9” x 12”
In late 2015, I had an encounter with someone from my past that was extremely uncomfortable. It was one of those people that you never think you will ever see again, but if you did you would have some choice comments to say. Well, all the rehearsed dialogues never came to light when I ran into this person. In fact, I felt quite calm and unaffected by their presence. Let it be known that this person was someone I angrily obsessed over for a few years. So I was incredibly surprised to find that I did not react as I expected. It actually felt like this was a kismet experience, like this chance meeting was supposed to be for a deeper purpose. It felt like I had to have this happen in order to transition to another phase, and this new phase wouldn’t happen without this closure. It felt after seeing them and being civil, now I could let go of my hostility and move on.
I explained this moment to a fellow artist, and it really had an effect on her. She felt so moved that she had a vision of these long yellow tentacles letting go of me and retreating back into a vortex. She even put together a sketch. “Let Go” is my interpretation of her vision. To me, the release is a dual relationship. I am letting go of my anger and hostility, and in doing so, the other person’s power and control over me has also let go. This has been a very cathartic experience.
Also, I found a new freedom in painting something abstract and non-representational. Although I have done work similar to this, this has inspired me to dabble with a different focus and play more - to start seeing pieces of my environment and re-imagine their design.
January 2016
9” x 12”
In late 2015, I had an encounter with someone from my past that was extremely uncomfortable. It was one of those people that you never think you will ever see again, but if you did you would have some choice comments to say. Well, all the rehearsed dialogues never came to light when I ran into this person. In fact, I felt quite calm and unaffected by their presence. Let it be known that this person was someone I angrily obsessed over for a few years. So I was incredibly surprised to find that I did not react as I expected. It actually felt like this was a kismet experience, like this chance meeting was supposed to be for a deeper purpose. It felt like I had to have this happen in order to transition to another phase, and this new phase wouldn’t happen without this closure. It felt after seeing them and being civil, now I could let go of my hostility and move on.
I explained this moment to a fellow artist, and it really had an effect on her. She felt so moved that she had a vision of these long yellow tentacles letting go of me and retreating back into a vortex. She even put together a sketch. “Let Go” is my interpretation of her vision. To me, the release is a dual relationship. I am letting go of my anger and hostility, and in doing so, the other person’s power and control over me has also let go. This has been a very cathartic experience.
Also, I found a new freedom in painting something abstract and non-representational. Although I have done work similar to this, this has inspired me to dabble with a different focus and play more - to start seeing pieces of my environment and re-imagine their design.
"Spontaneous Ritual" C. 2016
“Spontaneous Ritual”
February 2016
5.5” x 10”
During the creation of “Let Go,” I realized how much fun it was to paint abstract shapes and patterns. For inspiration, I looked around my space and began to see things through a set of microscopic eyes. I was fascinated by these great organic shapes that appeared out of nowhere once I got a closer look. It seemed like the next evolutionary step in my work, as I was always intrigued by representing the concept of slowing down time to take notice of otherwise overlooked scenes. Now I looked even closer not just at the moment, but the object itself, and see hidden beauty in patterns and compositions.
What you see in “Spontaneous Ritual” were the swirling patterns of soapsuds left behind at the end of my children’s bath. There was a harmonious and spontaneous flow of the water and soap that created a beautiful image. In the context of the activity, itself, the nightly ritual of bathing my children for the last 6+ years contains tremendous joy and love, combined, sometimes, with frustration and stress. I know that these days are soon going to be over, and this makes me very sad that I have to say goodbye to another chapter in their life.
On a technical note, I discovered that a great way to create highlights after the paint has dries was to scratch out with an exacto knife. This was the first painting where I employed that approach.
February 2016
5.5” x 10”
During the creation of “Let Go,” I realized how much fun it was to paint abstract shapes and patterns. For inspiration, I looked around my space and began to see things through a set of microscopic eyes. I was fascinated by these great organic shapes that appeared out of nowhere once I got a closer look. It seemed like the next evolutionary step in my work, as I was always intrigued by representing the concept of slowing down time to take notice of otherwise overlooked scenes. Now I looked even closer not just at the moment, but the object itself, and see hidden beauty in patterns and compositions.
What you see in “Spontaneous Ritual” were the swirling patterns of soapsuds left behind at the end of my children’s bath. There was a harmonious and spontaneous flow of the water and soap that created a beautiful image. In the context of the activity, itself, the nightly ritual of bathing my children for the last 6+ years contains tremendous joy and love, combined, sometimes, with frustration and stress. I know that these days are soon going to be over, and this makes me very sad that I have to say goodbye to another chapter in their life.
On a technical note, I discovered that a great way to create highlights after the paint has dries was to scratch out with an exacto knife. This was the first painting where I employed that approach.
"Arcane Path" C. 2016
"Arcane Path”
February 2016
5” x 9”
The act of hiking in the woods over the last few years (decades) has become a ritualistic event for me. It takes on spiritual properties, as well. I see it as a walking meditation where I reconnect with myself, while observing and absorbing nature. These are not tests of endurance, by any means, but very relaxing strolls. Most often I am by myself, which I prefer. This has always been my retreat and connection with something bigger than myself, especially when I stopped attending church around age 19. I saw more of God in nature than through listening to sermons while sitting in pew and looking at my watch.
The concept of death and the afterlife have been in my mind long before my mom or brother died. People have their own views and like to convince you that theirs is the correct one. The thing is, no one really has any empirical knowledge. Its’ fine to believe what you want, but please don’t present it as fact and try to dissuade me, or get angry if I am not in agreement. I believe in reincarnation, with the potential to improve in every lifetime, and have to deal with karmic circumstances. No, I do not have any proof of this, but it just feels right to me, that’s all. If you agree, great, we can compare notes. If not, that’s great – we can agree to disagree.
This piece is a reflection upon that belief. I visited it that topic last year with “Destination,” but felt in light of recent circumstances, I wanted to pay tribute again. As you can see, the branches reaching up through the top of the page, come through the bottom as roots, going back into the tree and reflecting that cycle of life/death/rebirth. The word “arcane” means secret knowledge, known only to a few people. That is my belief regarding the afterlife – its only known to a certain group of people – those that have experienced it.
February 2016
5” x 9”
The act of hiking in the woods over the last few years (decades) has become a ritualistic event for me. It takes on spiritual properties, as well. I see it as a walking meditation where I reconnect with myself, while observing and absorbing nature. These are not tests of endurance, by any means, but very relaxing strolls. Most often I am by myself, which I prefer. This has always been my retreat and connection with something bigger than myself, especially when I stopped attending church around age 19. I saw more of God in nature than through listening to sermons while sitting in pew and looking at my watch.
The concept of death and the afterlife have been in my mind long before my mom or brother died. People have their own views and like to convince you that theirs is the correct one. The thing is, no one really has any empirical knowledge. Its’ fine to believe what you want, but please don’t present it as fact and try to dissuade me, or get angry if I am not in agreement. I believe in reincarnation, with the potential to improve in every lifetime, and have to deal with karmic circumstances. No, I do not have any proof of this, but it just feels right to me, that’s all. If you agree, great, we can compare notes. If not, that’s great – we can agree to disagree.
This piece is a reflection upon that belief. I visited it that topic last year with “Destination,” but felt in light of recent circumstances, I wanted to pay tribute again. As you can see, the branches reaching up through the top of the page, come through the bottom as roots, going back into the tree and reflecting that cycle of life/death/rebirth. The word “arcane” means secret knowledge, known only to a few people. That is my belief regarding the afterlife – its only known to a certain group of people – those that have experienced it.
"Dusk Reflection" C. 2016
“Dusk Reflection”
February 2016
8” x 10”
I’m still excited by the new direction of my abstract paintings. I am finding many opportunities to look at my environment and see new ways to represent it. Reality becomes something alternate. In the voyage of discovery, observation is the destination.
One late January afternoon, I found myself distraught with current personal situations. When that happens, I like to take a walk. If I can ramble through a wooded area, that is always ideal, but a recent snowfall made that a little more difficult, and I was without my proper gear. So I headed to a paved trail that loops through Putnam State Park in Redding, CT. That has been a meditative and scenic getaway for me in the past, and it worked again this time.
The end of the day was quickly coming, and the park gates close at sundown. I was only about half way through the loop when I realized that I might be locked in if I didn’t pick up the pace. On my way up this hill on my way back, I was stunned by how the sun exploded in the dusk sky – a blood orange globe surrounded by a golden and magenta atmosphere. What was even more striking was the way those exact colors shimmered and reflected off the wet asphalt loop trail, cut in pieces by the darkness of the trees’ shadows.
February 2016
8” x 10”
I’m still excited by the new direction of my abstract paintings. I am finding many opportunities to look at my environment and see new ways to represent it. Reality becomes something alternate. In the voyage of discovery, observation is the destination.
One late January afternoon, I found myself distraught with current personal situations. When that happens, I like to take a walk. If I can ramble through a wooded area, that is always ideal, but a recent snowfall made that a little more difficult, and I was without my proper gear. So I headed to a paved trail that loops through Putnam State Park in Redding, CT. That has been a meditative and scenic getaway for me in the past, and it worked again this time.
The end of the day was quickly coming, and the park gates close at sundown. I was only about half way through the loop when I realized that I might be locked in if I didn’t pick up the pace. On my way up this hill on my way back, I was stunned by how the sun exploded in the dusk sky – a blood orange globe surrounded by a golden and magenta atmosphere. What was even more striking was the way those exact colors shimmered and reflected off the wet asphalt loop trail, cut in pieces by the darkness of the trees’ shadows.
"Middaydream" Copyright 2016
“Middaydream”
March 2016
5.75” x 10”
This is more experimenting with the abstract subject, derived from meditation, based on a photograph. The photo was taken at Harrybrook Park, where I used to regularly go for walks when it was warmer. The last Sunday in February was just like the first day of Spring, so I decided to revisit the place. It was the mid afternoon and the shadows were exceptionally profound against the crispness of the colors surrounding them. This particular image is based on a close up photo of the reflection of trees in little puddles of water.
During a meditation, I saw the reflection of trees in this photo combine with the land surrounding the puddle and start to grow up and away from the puddle becoming more 3 dimensional.
In the early part of the year, I began creating atmospheric and ethereal instrumental music, to work as a companion piece to some of the paintings I was creating. Midway through the song, I incorporated the chorus of “Daydream Believer” by the Monkees, one of my favorite songs when I was a child.
March 2016
5.75” x 10”
This is more experimenting with the abstract subject, derived from meditation, based on a photograph. The photo was taken at Harrybrook Park, where I used to regularly go for walks when it was warmer. The last Sunday in February was just like the first day of Spring, so I decided to revisit the place. It was the mid afternoon and the shadows were exceptionally profound against the crispness of the colors surrounding them. This particular image is based on a close up photo of the reflection of trees in little puddles of water.
During a meditation, I saw the reflection of trees in this photo combine with the land surrounding the puddle and start to grow up and away from the puddle becoming more 3 dimensional.
In the early part of the year, I began creating atmospheric and ethereal instrumental music, to work as a companion piece to some of the paintings I was creating. Midway through the song, I incorporated the chorus of “Daydream Believer” by the Monkees, one of my favorite songs when I was a child.
"Ceremony" Copyright 2016
“Ceremony”
March 2016
6” x 8”
I have found that I get the best experiences of meditation when I am laying in the water in the tub. I have come up with most of my better ideas in that environment. There has always been an element of ceremony in setting up this weekly experience. The atmosphere and setting are ideal with the right music and lighting. This is the candle that I use during those meditations to create that atmosphere.
Continuing to experiment with abstract shapes, I incorporated a psychedelic pattern as the “wallpaper.” The concept was inspired by previous works of mine, where I combined photographs and painting. In this case, I am combining an abstract dimension, to complement and clash with the representational form of this uncommonly-shaped candle. Similar to some of the meditations I have, this image can at first be unsettling, but with longer perception time, it becomes soothing.
March 2016
6” x 8”
I have found that I get the best experiences of meditation when I am laying in the water in the tub. I have come up with most of my better ideas in that environment. There has always been an element of ceremony in setting up this weekly experience. The atmosphere and setting are ideal with the right music and lighting. This is the candle that I use during those meditations to create that atmosphere.
Continuing to experiment with abstract shapes, I incorporated a psychedelic pattern as the “wallpaper.” The concept was inspired by previous works of mine, where I combined photographs and painting. In this case, I am combining an abstract dimension, to complement and clash with the representational form of this uncommonly-shaped candle. Similar to some of the meditations I have, this image can at first be unsettling, but with longer perception time, it becomes soothing.
"Waiting" Copyright 2016
“Waiting”
March 2016
6.75” x 9”
This image has been stuck in my head and been dying to come out now for over a year. It felt that now was the right time to let that happen. I was getting tired of it nagging at me. It is based on an afternoon of sitting on the couch - bored, exhausted, depressed – watching the afternoon drip by as the sun set, mimicked by its projection through the rectangular windows in the front door onto the staircase, slowly taking steps downward.
This is one of my more emotionally darker, moodier pieces that resounds the moments when everything is not going as well as I want. I have lost count as to how many days I have waited for the day to be over, to be through with it, and to start again. There was a catharsis in painting this, no matter how difficult it may be to look at it, as it reminds me of the less pleasant days.
The concept of waiting means that where I am “now” is not where I want to be, and the future holds the key for my peace of mind. This is in distinct opposition to being in the state of mindfulness, that I strive for. This is a notion that I feel needs to be addressed in order to be honest with myself. Being present and mindful is not an easy path, but when I have practiced it, I have been shown peace. Focusing on the past creates feelings of lack and regret and depression, and focusing on the future brings about anxiety and uncertainty.
I had some trouble deciding on a title. I started with the obvious “Sunset’s Descent,” “Daylight Savings” (which is when I started this piece), “Everyday Is Like Sunday” (based on a Morrissey song that fit this mood), but was more satisfied with the simple “Waiting.”
March 2016
6.75” x 9”
This image has been stuck in my head and been dying to come out now for over a year. It felt that now was the right time to let that happen. I was getting tired of it nagging at me. It is based on an afternoon of sitting on the couch - bored, exhausted, depressed – watching the afternoon drip by as the sun set, mimicked by its projection through the rectangular windows in the front door onto the staircase, slowly taking steps downward.
This is one of my more emotionally darker, moodier pieces that resounds the moments when everything is not going as well as I want. I have lost count as to how many days I have waited for the day to be over, to be through with it, and to start again. There was a catharsis in painting this, no matter how difficult it may be to look at it, as it reminds me of the less pleasant days.
The concept of waiting means that where I am “now” is not where I want to be, and the future holds the key for my peace of mind. This is in distinct opposition to being in the state of mindfulness, that I strive for. This is a notion that I feel needs to be addressed in order to be honest with myself. Being present and mindful is not an easy path, but when I have practiced it, I have been shown peace. Focusing on the past creates feelings of lack and regret and depression, and focusing on the future brings about anxiety and uncertainty.
I had some trouble deciding on a title. I started with the obvious “Sunset’s Descent,” “Daylight Savings” (which is when I started this piece), “Everyday Is Like Sunday” (based on a Morrissey song that fit this mood), but was more satisfied with the simple “Waiting.”
"Jerry" Copyright 2016
“Jerry”
April 2016
12” x 12”
Jerry Garcia is an icon, whether you love him or hate him or could care less. Everyone knows that face. The Grateful Dead celebrated their 50th anniversary in 2015, and although I wasn’t present at any of the reunion shows, I caught the vibe. I was first introduced the Grateful Dead in high school. I had seen their skull w/ lightning bolt logo for years before, thinking they were a metal band (laughable). In the late eighties they hit their popularity with “Touch Of Grey.” I couldn’t stand them. I really didn’t like them at all, mostly because I didn’t get it and was more into alternative music and punk rock. The Dead and their followers were not liked in the community I belonged to. They represented the past that wouldn’t let go, and I was more interested in the future and what was new and underground.
When I got into the Maryland Institute of Art, as luck would have it, my first roommate was a real life DeadHead. Not a “Touch of Grey-er,” but the authentic article. He lived the life, he went to shows, had countless tapes, wore the clothes, knew the people. He showed me how great they were, and how they were the alternative in their time. It took awhile to acquire a taste, but the more people I met who were the real deal, the more I was impressed and the more I got it. There’s real love and “dead”ication there. In the summer of 1992, I was lucky enough to see them twice. Sadly, I never got the chance to see them again. Jerry died in 1995 and that was the end of the Grateful Dead.
Although I was never a Dead Head on the outside, their music touched my heart and brought me to a place in my mind not associated with any particular time. Just a vibe and a groove that helped me enjoy the moment and allowed me to escape. In these digital days, its so much easier to get your hands on older, live recordings, so there seems to be no end to the output. I am also able to witness their show once a year, now, during the Grateful Dead “Meet Up At The Movies,” where they play a recorded concert on a movie screen surrounded by fellow Dead Heads. I designed this image for a T-Shirt that I will wear there.
This was created by using an existing photo as a template that I traced in Photoshop with my new drawing tablet. I added in the trippy pattern in the glasses via a copy and paste method to reflect the general mindset the music can put you in.
April 2016
12” x 12”
Jerry Garcia is an icon, whether you love him or hate him or could care less. Everyone knows that face. The Grateful Dead celebrated their 50th anniversary in 2015, and although I wasn’t present at any of the reunion shows, I caught the vibe. I was first introduced the Grateful Dead in high school. I had seen their skull w/ lightning bolt logo for years before, thinking they were a metal band (laughable). In the late eighties they hit their popularity with “Touch Of Grey.” I couldn’t stand them. I really didn’t like them at all, mostly because I didn’t get it and was more into alternative music and punk rock. The Dead and their followers were not liked in the community I belonged to. They represented the past that wouldn’t let go, and I was more interested in the future and what was new and underground.
When I got into the Maryland Institute of Art, as luck would have it, my first roommate was a real life DeadHead. Not a “Touch of Grey-er,” but the authentic article. He lived the life, he went to shows, had countless tapes, wore the clothes, knew the people. He showed me how great they were, and how they were the alternative in their time. It took awhile to acquire a taste, but the more people I met who were the real deal, the more I was impressed and the more I got it. There’s real love and “dead”ication there. In the summer of 1992, I was lucky enough to see them twice. Sadly, I never got the chance to see them again. Jerry died in 1995 and that was the end of the Grateful Dead.
Although I was never a Dead Head on the outside, their music touched my heart and brought me to a place in my mind not associated with any particular time. Just a vibe and a groove that helped me enjoy the moment and allowed me to escape. In these digital days, its so much easier to get your hands on older, live recordings, so there seems to be no end to the output. I am also able to witness their show once a year, now, during the Grateful Dead “Meet Up At The Movies,” where they play a recorded concert on a movie screen surrounded by fellow Dead Heads. I designed this image for a T-Shirt that I will wear there.
This was created by using an existing photo as a template that I traced in Photoshop with my new drawing tablet. I added in the trippy pattern in the glasses via a copy and paste method to reflect the general mindset the music can put you in.
"The Loop" C. 2016
“The Loop”
June 2016
12” x 18”
(3 separate tiles: 9” x 12”, 6” x 9”, 6” x 9”)
I took 2 months off from April to June to concentrate on organizing all of my paintings since 1995. It was a project that began in the summer of 2015 by collecting all of the originals that I could from various locations and rescanning them. Afterwards, I saved them at various sizes for future reproductions and backed them up onto external hard drives.
I resolved myself to not create any more pieces until that project was done. This idea had been on my mind since March, and I couldn’t wait to see it come to life. The subject of “The Loop” is, once again, Harrybrook Park. There is a one mile paved loop, which makes up the brunt of the park. This is where I go from time to time to exercise or just walk and meditate. On the day I came up with this idea I was doing the latter. The name of this particular walking trail is called the Sri Chinmoy Peace Mile. Sri Chinmoy was a spiritual teacher whose meditation technique was the first meditation technique that I was introduced to. I always saw this as a synchronistic event in my life, not a coincidence.
On this particular day, I was not in the best of moods. I found myself in a depressive state, focusing on what was not going right in my life. I saw all of my bad habits, unaccomplished dreams; terrible decisions all come to the forefront of my mind. I saw the repetition of these bad experiences repeating themselves like a loop in different contexts as I looked back on my life. These thoughts keep coming back, and replay themselves like a tape loop or a scene from a movie, reminding me of my fast failures.
But these thoughts bother me for a long, long time and I never knew how to turn them off. I have tried “changing the channel” in my head – with some success. I have tried feeling grateful, but it sometimes feels phony. It wasn’t until very recently when I read something that made sense: “Whenever we focus on what should be, and not what is, we remove ourselves from happiness.” That was what I had been doing, but not really admitting it. I was constantly hearing myself yell at myself for not accomplishing what I thought should be. I have not spent anytime focusing on all of the great things I have accomplished, sometimes without very little effort.
The image is an abstraction of an imagined aerial view of the Harrybrook Park loop with the shadows of trees stretching across the roadway and grassy areas. I have enjoyed showing this piece to people to hear what they see. I am starting to see my work evolving into Rorschach Tests.
June 2016
12” x 18”
(3 separate tiles: 9” x 12”, 6” x 9”, 6” x 9”)
I took 2 months off from April to June to concentrate on organizing all of my paintings since 1995. It was a project that began in the summer of 2015 by collecting all of the originals that I could from various locations and rescanning them. Afterwards, I saved them at various sizes for future reproductions and backed them up onto external hard drives.
I resolved myself to not create any more pieces until that project was done. This idea had been on my mind since March, and I couldn’t wait to see it come to life. The subject of “The Loop” is, once again, Harrybrook Park. There is a one mile paved loop, which makes up the brunt of the park. This is where I go from time to time to exercise or just walk and meditate. On the day I came up with this idea I was doing the latter. The name of this particular walking trail is called the Sri Chinmoy Peace Mile. Sri Chinmoy was a spiritual teacher whose meditation technique was the first meditation technique that I was introduced to. I always saw this as a synchronistic event in my life, not a coincidence.
On this particular day, I was not in the best of moods. I found myself in a depressive state, focusing on what was not going right in my life. I saw all of my bad habits, unaccomplished dreams; terrible decisions all come to the forefront of my mind. I saw the repetition of these bad experiences repeating themselves like a loop in different contexts as I looked back on my life. These thoughts keep coming back, and replay themselves like a tape loop or a scene from a movie, reminding me of my fast failures.
But these thoughts bother me for a long, long time and I never knew how to turn them off. I have tried “changing the channel” in my head – with some success. I have tried feeling grateful, but it sometimes feels phony. It wasn’t until very recently when I read something that made sense: “Whenever we focus on what should be, and not what is, we remove ourselves from happiness.” That was what I had been doing, but not really admitting it. I was constantly hearing myself yell at myself for not accomplishing what I thought should be. I have not spent anytime focusing on all of the great things I have accomplished, sometimes without very little effort.
The image is an abstraction of an imagined aerial view of the Harrybrook Park loop with the shadows of trees stretching across the roadway and grassy areas. I have enjoyed showing this piece to people to hear what they see. I am starting to see my work evolving into Rorschach Tests.
"Relax..." C. 2016
“Relax…”
June 2016
7.5” x 8”
Not often do I do more than one painting at a time, but after not painting for a couple of months, I was compelled to do so. This image had been caged up during that hiatus and couldn’t wait to break free. I would go back and forth between “The Loop” and “Relax…” and they were both finished within a few days of each other.
The image represented in this one is something that I’ve seen in my mind right before I drift off into a meditative state. The blue sphere in the background represents my waking consciousness – rigid and concrete. As I slip into meditation, I see (at least) two other forms representing my subconscious, at first being rigid, but then slowly liquefying, becoming more organic and merging with each other. As you can see, as the meditative process continues, they slowly take over my consciousness.
Some responses I have received from this piece are not representative of the peace I feel during meditation. Some see this as two forces attacking each other or struggling. I find that funny, because at first when I sit to meditate, it does seem like a struggle to not get distracted by my conscious thoughts. I have to tell myself to breathe in and relax…
June 2016
7.5” x 8”
Not often do I do more than one painting at a time, but after not painting for a couple of months, I was compelled to do so. This image had been caged up during that hiatus and couldn’t wait to break free. I would go back and forth between “The Loop” and “Relax…” and they were both finished within a few days of each other.
The image represented in this one is something that I’ve seen in my mind right before I drift off into a meditative state. The blue sphere in the background represents my waking consciousness – rigid and concrete. As I slip into meditation, I see (at least) two other forms representing my subconscious, at first being rigid, but then slowly liquefying, becoming more organic and merging with each other. As you can see, as the meditative process continues, they slowly take over my consciousness.
Some responses I have received from this piece are not representative of the peace I feel during meditation. Some see this as two forces attacking each other or struggling. I find that funny, because at first when I sit to meditate, it does seem like a struggle to not get distracted by my conscious thoughts. I have to tell myself to breathe in and relax…
"The Melting Light" C. 2016
“The Melting Light”
July 2016
7” x 7”
This painting took on a life of its own, whereas the final piece was nothing like my original intention. I was caught by surprise of the ambient beauty of the radiation of light coming from glass candle jar. The way that beams of light were displayed across the white tabletop, from above, looked very much like the rays of the sun. The flame of the candle also a bright white, appeared like the sun itself. I took a picture of this, intending to do an exact reproduction of what I was witnessing. As the idea sat on the back burner, I thought of having it be a straight accurate copy of that scene at the top and then slowly the rays of light would transform into more organic sunlight rays. Then the thought of the rays of light would turn into melting wax – the sun itself being so hot, it can melt its own light that it produces. That concept really got me, so I scrapped the idea of representing the candle’s rays and just made the whole thing melting wax sunrays. I even had a lot of fun with the liquid nature of the paint – proclaiming the sun being so hot it could melt and liquefy the air.
Anyone who knows me knows that I have a love/hate relationship with the heat. I love the summer so much, but because I am fair-skinned, I burn easily, so I have to put on a lot of sunscreen. I also have been cursed with an intense core temperature so I sweat A LOT. This has caused me so much discomfort and embarrassment since I was 11 years old. It has made me self-conscious to the point of avoiding people and situations where my body temperature can be affected. I feel like I need to live in constant cold. I was told that it is a genetic survival mechanism since I was born in Newfoundland, Canada, and I probably shouldn’t be living so far south.
So this painting is pretty much how my body feels most of the time.
July 2016
7” x 7”
This painting took on a life of its own, whereas the final piece was nothing like my original intention. I was caught by surprise of the ambient beauty of the radiation of light coming from glass candle jar. The way that beams of light were displayed across the white tabletop, from above, looked very much like the rays of the sun. The flame of the candle also a bright white, appeared like the sun itself. I took a picture of this, intending to do an exact reproduction of what I was witnessing. As the idea sat on the back burner, I thought of having it be a straight accurate copy of that scene at the top and then slowly the rays of light would transform into more organic sunlight rays. Then the thought of the rays of light would turn into melting wax – the sun itself being so hot, it can melt its own light that it produces. That concept really got me, so I scrapped the idea of representing the candle’s rays and just made the whole thing melting wax sunrays. I even had a lot of fun with the liquid nature of the paint – proclaiming the sun being so hot it could melt and liquefy the air.
Anyone who knows me knows that I have a love/hate relationship with the heat. I love the summer so much, but because I am fair-skinned, I burn easily, so I have to put on a lot of sunscreen. I also have been cursed with an intense core temperature so I sweat A LOT. This has caused me so much discomfort and embarrassment since I was 11 years old. It has made me self-conscious to the point of avoiding people and situations where my body temperature can be affected. I feel like I need to live in constant cold. I was told that it is a genetic survival mechanism since I was born in Newfoundland, Canada, and I probably shouldn’t be living so far south.
So this painting is pretty much how my body feels most of the time.
"Mysterioso' C. 2016
“Mysterioso”
August 2016
5.5” x 10”
While looking for inspiration and contemplating my next piece, I stumbled upon pictures of crop circles, and I saw them in a new way. I found the geometric patterns something of a marvel. I looked at them only as patterns, without getting too attached as to how they got there. After reviewing dozens of different formations, I chose this one. There was no credit, unfortunately, as to where it was or who took the photo or who even created the crop circle in the first place. The mystery began. I appreciate a good mystery.
So onto the next layer. Where do crop circles come from? Some can prove to be human-made. Others claim they are extraterrestrial in origin. Another theory states they are inter-dimensional. It has been proven that humans have made some, but others cannot be accounted for. How some people have the knowledge, skill and resources to pull this off is still a mystery to me.
I do believe, for the record, that this universe is capable of being home to many possible life forms. I don’t have anything to back this up, just and intrinsic feeling. Maybe we just don’t have the right tools to recognize it. I also believe that it will be possible in the future, time travel will exist. Maybe the UFO’s that have been seen for so long have been time travel devices and the aliens that have been encountered are older, evolved species of humans. Maybe they come back in time to study us, like a history field trip. Maybe they have the technology to prevent any disruption in the space-time continuum. The mystery continues.
At the time I was studying images of crop circles, I visited the Liberty Science Center in Jersey City, NJ. The enlarged photos of space and other galaxies taken by the Hubbell Telescope blew me away. It furthered my appreciation and awe of our universe by seeing how beautiful, vast and diverse it is. Where did it all come from? Why was it designed this way? How was the telescope designed in order to get such breathtaking pictures? How did the scientists who viewed the very first images feel and react? The feeling of wonder I have towards the images of outer space are the same I have for these crop circles.
I decided to include an image of a spiral galaxy formation to create a connection between both dimensions of fantastic mystery and wonder. I chose an image that resembled the crop circle. Maybe if other worldly visitors created the crop circle, they came from the galaxy I chose to represent. The mystery continues.
August 2016
5.5” x 10”
While looking for inspiration and contemplating my next piece, I stumbled upon pictures of crop circles, and I saw them in a new way. I found the geometric patterns something of a marvel. I looked at them only as patterns, without getting too attached as to how they got there. After reviewing dozens of different formations, I chose this one. There was no credit, unfortunately, as to where it was or who took the photo or who even created the crop circle in the first place. The mystery began. I appreciate a good mystery.
So onto the next layer. Where do crop circles come from? Some can prove to be human-made. Others claim they are extraterrestrial in origin. Another theory states they are inter-dimensional. It has been proven that humans have made some, but others cannot be accounted for. How some people have the knowledge, skill and resources to pull this off is still a mystery to me.
I do believe, for the record, that this universe is capable of being home to many possible life forms. I don’t have anything to back this up, just and intrinsic feeling. Maybe we just don’t have the right tools to recognize it. I also believe that it will be possible in the future, time travel will exist. Maybe the UFO’s that have been seen for so long have been time travel devices and the aliens that have been encountered are older, evolved species of humans. Maybe they come back in time to study us, like a history field trip. Maybe they have the technology to prevent any disruption in the space-time continuum. The mystery continues.
At the time I was studying images of crop circles, I visited the Liberty Science Center in Jersey City, NJ. The enlarged photos of space and other galaxies taken by the Hubbell Telescope blew me away. It furthered my appreciation and awe of our universe by seeing how beautiful, vast and diverse it is. Where did it all come from? Why was it designed this way? How was the telescope designed in order to get such breathtaking pictures? How did the scientists who viewed the very first images feel and react? The feeling of wonder I have towards the images of outer space are the same I have for these crop circles.
I decided to include an image of a spiral galaxy formation to create a connection between both dimensions of fantastic mystery and wonder. I chose an image that resembled the crop circle. Maybe if other worldly visitors created the crop circle, they came from the galaxy I chose to represent. The mystery continues.
"End Of The Endless Summer" C. 2016
“End Of The Endless Summer”
August 2016
10” x 5”
I grew up about an hour away from the Jersey Shore; so many summer weekends were spent there. When I was a boy, I never liked the beach. The heat, the sand, the fear of drowning in the ocean, the traffic, and the crowds – all made it very stressful. But as I reached my teenage years, I began to find more things to enjoy. Video games in arcades, which I loved, were becoming huge on the boardwalk, I began noticing girls, so things weren’t so bad. I was introduced to, and fell in love with, surf culture, but never learned to surf – something I still regret. One of my favorite surf-themed movies is “The Endless Summer,” which helped inspire the title. I always envied those that lived near the beach and lived that lifestyle. When I got older and could drive, my friends and I would go and there was more freedom without my over protective parents always looking over my shoulder. So now I look forward to the summer times at the beach. Unfortunately, I moved further away, so I don’t get as many opportunities to go.
I was able to go to Island Beach State Park in New Jersey once this summer, all by myself, without the wife and kids. It was wonderful to go back in time temporarily and really appreciate that which had once been so available and taken for granted. As the day came to a close, I felt the common sting of melancholy when something you look forward too comes to an end. Summer, in general feels that way to me. When it first starts to warm up at the end of Spring, it seems that the upcoming season will go on forever. And every year, the summer ends too soon.
My birthday, August 21st, was always a double-edged sword. I looked forward to another party and gifts, but I knew that school was coming in just a few weeks, which was depressing. But Autumn, my real favorite season, was right around the corner. So in this piece, as the sun sets off to the west, Autumn and Halloween’s colors are reflected in the incoming tide.
This is the last piece that I am going to do for Serenity, Volume Three. I have ideas for other projects that don’t really fit into this series that I want to focus on. I see how this has become a diary of my life over the last four years, which I love. I love how this project was a trilogy – Volume One was a rebirth for me and a way to handle pain and stress of something new, very much like a newborn acclimating itself to a new world. Volume Two was more playful and experimental and like a joyful experience in a more comfortable setting, thus creating more confidence. Volume Three began right after the tragic death of my mother, which directed my focus to that subject of finality and cycles. As “End Of The Endless Summer” ends the series, it also connects, season-wise, to the very first painting in "Serenity, Volume One" – “The Autumnist,” therefore creating a cycle.
August 2016
10” x 5”
I grew up about an hour away from the Jersey Shore; so many summer weekends were spent there. When I was a boy, I never liked the beach. The heat, the sand, the fear of drowning in the ocean, the traffic, and the crowds – all made it very stressful. But as I reached my teenage years, I began to find more things to enjoy. Video games in arcades, which I loved, were becoming huge on the boardwalk, I began noticing girls, so things weren’t so bad. I was introduced to, and fell in love with, surf culture, but never learned to surf – something I still regret. One of my favorite surf-themed movies is “The Endless Summer,” which helped inspire the title. I always envied those that lived near the beach and lived that lifestyle. When I got older and could drive, my friends and I would go and there was more freedom without my over protective parents always looking over my shoulder. So now I look forward to the summer times at the beach. Unfortunately, I moved further away, so I don’t get as many opportunities to go.
I was able to go to Island Beach State Park in New Jersey once this summer, all by myself, without the wife and kids. It was wonderful to go back in time temporarily and really appreciate that which had once been so available and taken for granted. As the day came to a close, I felt the common sting of melancholy when something you look forward too comes to an end. Summer, in general feels that way to me. When it first starts to warm up at the end of Spring, it seems that the upcoming season will go on forever. And every year, the summer ends too soon.
My birthday, August 21st, was always a double-edged sword. I looked forward to another party and gifts, but I knew that school was coming in just a few weeks, which was depressing. But Autumn, my real favorite season, was right around the corner. So in this piece, as the sun sets off to the west, Autumn and Halloween’s colors are reflected in the incoming tide.
This is the last piece that I am going to do for Serenity, Volume Three. I have ideas for other projects that don’t really fit into this series that I want to focus on. I see how this has become a diary of my life over the last four years, which I love. I love how this project was a trilogy – Volume One was a rebirth for me and a way to handle pain and stress of something new, very much like a newborn acclimating itself to a new world. Volume Two was more playful and experimental and like a joyful experience in a more comfortable setting, thus creating more confidence. Volume Three began right after the tragic death of my mother, which directed my focus to that subject of finality and cycles. As “End Of The Endless Summer” ends the series, it also connects, season-wise, to the very first painting in "Serenity, Volume One" – “The Autumnist,” therefore creating a cycle.
"Goth Beach" C. 2016
“Goth Beach”
December 2016
5.5’ x 8.25”
Although I felt that “End of The Endless Summer” was to be the last piece of the “Serenity Now” Series, I couldn’t resist adding this “post script bonus track.” This is based on a photo taken by one of my musical idols, Peter Murphy, of a beach in Tel Aviv. Peter Murphy was the lead singer of Bauhaus in the early 80’s – one of the originators of the Goth Scene. I had the amazing fortune to see him perform live in a very small venue in Connecticut on December 8, 2016. I was one of about 150 people there. What a privilege.
Bauhaus and other punk, Goth, alternative bands were the cornerstone of my culture during my formative years. They helped define my artistic intention and coolness. I remember before my first ever outdoor art show in 1989, I was inspired by listening to a lot of Bauhaus’s music. Now just a few days before my latest solo show at the Village Center for the Arts in New Milford, CT, 27 years later, here I am actually seeing THE MAN in person. I felt I had to do something in honor and recognition.
So, I was inspired to paint a rendition of his photo that he posted on Facebook. My plan was to hopefully meet him after the show, say a few kind words of gratitude and give him this gift. Unfortunately, even though it was a small venue, I didn’t get that opportunity. He went back to his bus and wasn’t taking any visitors. As I sat in my car, I heard this prodding voice scream at me from inside my head, begging me to go up to his bus and hand him the envelope with the original piece. I was really terrified to do so, in this day and age of hyper-security. But I knew I would never get this chance again. So, I went over to his bus and noticed him sitting in the first row, eyes closed, looking quite the vampire. One of his managers came out and was wondering what I wanted. I explained what was in the envelope (I had even written what I would have said to him on the outside). He said that was “very cool” and would give it to him. Mission accomplished.
I am doubtful that I will hear from him or his management if he received it or liked it, but knowing that one of my paintings is now in the hands of Peter Murphy is enough for me.
December 2016
5.5’ x 8.25”
Although I felt that “End of The Endless Summer” was to be the last piece of the “Serenity Now” Series, I couldn’t resist adding this “post script bonus track.” This is based on a photo taken by one of my musical idols, Peter Murphy, of a beach in Tel Aviv. Peter Murphy was the lead singer of Bauhaus in the early 80’s – one of the originators of the Goth Scene. I had the amazing fortune to see him perform live in a very small venue in Connecticut on December 8, 2016. I was one of about 150 people there. What a privilege.
Bauhaus and other punk, Goth, alternative bands were the cornerstone of my culture during my formative years. They helped define my artistic intention and coolness. I remember before my first ever outdoor art show in 1989, I was inspired by listening to a lot of Bauhaus’s music. Now just a few days before my latest solo show at the Village Center for the Arts in New Milford, CT, 27 years later, here I am actually seeing THE MAN in person. I felt I had to do something in honor and recognition.
So, I was inspired to paint a rendition of his photo that he posted on Facebook. My plan was to hopefully meet him after the show, say a few kind words of gratitude and give him this gift. Unfortunately, even though it was a small venue, I didn’t get that opportunity. He went back to his bus and wasn’t taking any visitors. As I sat in my car, I heard this prodding voice scream at me from inside my head, begging me to go up to his bus and hand him the envelope with the original piece. I was really terrified to do so, in this day and age of hyper-security. But I knew I would never get this chance again. So, I went over to his bus and noticed him sitting in the first row, eyes closed, looking quite the vampire. One of his managers came out and was wondering what I wanted. I explained what was in the envelope (I had even written what I would have said to him on the outside). He said that was “very cool” and would give it to him. Mission accomplished.
I am doubtful that I will hear from him or his management if he received it or liked it, but knowing that one of my paintings is now in the hands of Peter Murphy is enough for me.
TIMELINE
2016
January:
- "Torment of Choice" was accepted to Junto Magazine.
- Created "Forevermore Impermanent" - dealing with the realization of the temporary, and the passing away of my mother.
- Created "Let Go" - a direction into the abstract, and the release of anger.
February:
- Created "Spontaneous Ritual," "Arcane Path," and "Dusk Reflection." - further exploration into abstraction based on photography of profound moments.
- Created facebook page dedicated to my artwork.
- Started composing and playing atmospheric music to accompany some of my paintings.
- Began "Fluidity" series - a multi-media video/music/painting combination. Created video and song for "Frozen Ocean."
March:
- Created "Middaydream," "Ceremony," and "Waiting."
- Continued work on "Azul" video for "Fluidity Project."
April:
- Created "Jerry" a digital drawing which was printed for one time use as a T-Shirt.
- Created "Ripple's Wave" - a video featuring a surf rock version of the Grateful Dead's "Ripple" for the next series - "Fluidity"
- Continued archiving and organizing older pieces.
May:
- Finished the archiving and organizing project of my older pieces.
- Junto Magazine publishes my painting "Torment Of Choice" along with my bio.
- Exhibited in Starbucks, Danbury, CT, The only Starbucks in the region that displays local artists work.
June:
- Created "The Loop" and "Relax.." - 2 more abstract pieces, related to meditation.
July:
- Created "The Melting Light."
August:
- Created "Mysterioso."
- Participated in the New Milford Art Walk on August 27, 2016.
- Created "End Of The Endless Summer," which ended the "Serenity" Three-Volume Series.
- Finished the Ambient and Instrumental musical companion piece to "Serenity, Volume 3" - 13 songs related to, and named after all 13 images of the Third Volume of the "Serenity" Series.
September:
- Created five images for the "Maine Series" for a private collector. (Images unavailable to show at present).
- Began the musical compositions for "Serenity, Volumes 1 and 2."
October:
- Created the first painting, "Frozen Ocean" for the next series - "Fluidity." The painting is the final part of a multi-media project, which includes original music and video.
December:
- Created "Goth Beach" - a piece based on a photograph taken by musical legend, Peter Murphy. The original painting is now in his possession.
- Exhibiting solo show through January 10, 2017 at the Village Center for the Arts, New Milford, CT. Selected works from the Serenity Series.
- "Torment of Choice" was accepted to Junto Magazine.
- Created "Forevermore Impermanent" - dealing with the realization of the temporary, and the passing away of my mother.
- Created "Let Go" - a direction into the abstract, and the release of anger.
February:
- Created "Spontaneous Ritual," "Arcane Path," and "Dusk Reflection." - further exploration into abstraction based on photography of profound moments.
- Created facebook page dedicated to my artwork.
- Started composing and playing atmospheric music to accompany some of my paintings.
- Began "Fluidity" series - a multi-media video/music/painting combination. Created video and song for "Frozen Ocean."
March:
- Created "Middaydream," "Ceremony," and "Waiting."
- Continued work on "Azul" video for "Fluidity Project."
April:
- Created "Jerry" a digital drawing which was printed for one time use as a T-Shirt.
- Created "Ripple's Wave" - a video featuring a surf rock version of the Grateful Dead's "Ripple" for the next series - "Fluidity"
- Continued archiving and organizing older pieces.
May:
- Finished the archiving and organizing project of my older pieces.
- Junto Magazine publishes my painting "Torment Of Choice" along with my bio.
- Exhibited in Starbucks, Danbury, CT, The only Starbucks in the region that displays local artists work.
June:
- Created "The Loop" and "Relax.." - 2 more abstract pieces, related to meditation.
July:
- Created "The Melting Light."
August:
- Created "Mysterioso."
- Participated in the New Milford Art Walk on August 27, 2016.
- Created "End Of The Endless Summer," which ended the "Serenity" Three-Volume Series.
- Finished the Ambient and Instrumental musical companion piece to "Serenity, Volume 3" - 13 songs related to, and named after all 13 images of the Third Volume of the "Serenity" Series.
September:
- Created five images for the "Maine Series" for a private collector. (Images unavailable to show at present).
- Began the musical compositions for "Serenity, Volumes 1 and 2."
October:
- Created the first painting, "Frozen Ocean" for the next series - "Fluidity." The painting is the final part of a multi-media project, which includes original music and video.
December:
- Created "Goth Beach" - a piece based on a photograph taken by musical legend, Peter Murphy. The original painting is now in his possession.
- Exhibiting solo show through January 10, 2017 at the Village Center for the Arts, New Milford, CT. Selected works from the Serenity Series.
